User blog:Hippie Rat/Elon Musk vs Henry Ford - Hippie Rat Battle Raps
Hey yo hi hello I'm alive I guess. I'm on a vacation to New York City, which is pretty neat, though it's severely delaying something I was trying to get done that like one or two of you know about. Whatever. I've been writing a lot. My dumbass knows how to start and somewhat dedicate myself to writing a new rap battle but never can quite figure out how to finish writing one. Even this one doesn't quite feel complete. It feels like I just ran out of ideas and energy to continue my research so I'm putting what I have up as a complete thought. I guess now is an okay time because Tesla's selling their new car on Friday. Here we go. Elon Musk vs Henry Ford. The battle that hopefully ERB does soon so I can get a better version of this. Lyrics Announcer: Epic Rap Battles of History! Henry Ford vs Elon Musk! Begin! Henry Ford: Start your engines! Feel that rumble! Or are you too clean? Too quiet? Too humble? Humbug! Don't need a machine to press ya, I live right next door from someone known to fuck up a Tesla. Now let me shift gears, Muskie - I'm efficient! Got assembly down to a T! And I've been grooving it since Model T! And I built from scratch a Brave New World to follow me! If it takes a hundred years to make an eco-friendly car, don't be late. Your hybrid engines are cute and all, but, *smack* you could've had a V8. Elon Musk: We're in a new age, old man. An assembly line is neat, But as much as you try with the environment, we still have you beat. A slight change in the air when you start me up, Smell those nontoxic emissions, that's my natural musk! Getting rid of smoke is hot, right? Because I happen to have a Case Against the Ozone-Depleting Exhaust Pipe! You tried CNG's, but there's still the same CO2, And your ethanol fuels are raising up the price of food. I'd slam the damn brakes if there's a chance of stopping ya! You're just sticking wet floors signs on a mess that I'm mopping up! Henry Ford: Quit your silly tech metaphors, I don't want to hear another, You goddamn Dave-Matthews-sounding motherfucker! You got it wrong, monkey boy, mark my words, Everything I did was for the good of people and the Earth. Legitimate business has no time for celebrity status, dear, So you can take your Simpsons and South Parks up with Mars's stratosphere. I mean, Elon, I just think you're wasting time with that company, I'm not racist, I'd be chill with every shade of African working for me. Oh, and as for those cars you wanted S3X with, My new whip's a Model "E" for "Eat my dick!" Elon Musk: Understanding the consumer means finding a connection, So I'll surf their jokes and posts, ideas and misconceptions, So when shooting truths at you shooting dupes at every Jew you saw, You'll never see me as the dude to lose due to Godwin's Law! Hanging out with George Washington Carver? It all adds up, You stuffed soybeans in your fuel tank and went straight peanuts. A Ford's morality affords none, zip, zilch, nada. I'm a Jaguar, ripping into you and running to another like "Ta-ta!" Announcer: Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History! Poll Who won? Elon Musk Henry Ford Yeah okay I'll see you in hopefully a week or so. Maybe not but hopefully. Category:Blog posts